I don’t particularly like when someone says to me “Pay Attention”, because I am often unaware of how much I miss around me and it can feel like a judgment. However my daily life is filled with things I am focused on, often this can be thinking about the past, or planning my future where I miss out what is in front of me.
In one of my meditation books, it talks about focusing on your step when walking. In order to try to ingrain something in my head, I often keep rereading a page until the concepts come to life. I have been reading this for weeks in the morning, and for some reason, I still don’t remember to meditate on the steps I take. This is actually pretty hard.
There are many times when I am having a conversation where I hear something and pause because I realize how important the comment was. Comments like: “something feels off,” “I can’t connect with God now,” “I am so excited,” etc. We all want to be known and heard, and usually this takes place when I least expect it. Paying attention is in the everyday conversations and experiences. It always starts with what is in front of me.
Paying attention to the Spirit is different for everyone, and can show up for me in different ways. At times it is clear, I pray for something, and a path opens up, resources come, and I start down the road. This has happened several times where I write something in my God box or say a prayer, and even though the answer came in a weird way, it feels clear and can keep me on the path when it gets challenging. Circumstances can guide me, someone I love is sick, and I want to be present with them and help as needed. Other times I don’t really hear much, and move in the path of love. Sometimes the path of love, is to be in the stillness and not take on new activities, a period of healing and restoration in my current relationships.
Probably the most challenging in hearing the Spirit for me is staying in truth. There are so many voices in my head that I have to ignore – “you can’t do it, you will fail, it can’t be done, why you”, that can just be crazy making. Another lie can be when I am trying to fix, control or do something for someone in the way I think will help, so I feel better. Saying the serenity prayer can be helpful, give me acceptance of what I can’t change, courage where I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
The last year has given me some new challenges and opportunities. I have seen shifts in some relationships and circumstances and though this can bring grief when things end, it also opens the door to new things. It can be hard to tell if the challenges are telling me to make changes, or something I just sit through. However, Paying Attention, allows me to see more clearly, be more open, and have more resources and wisdom for the situations at hand. It also helps me be aware of my own internal dialogue and emotions that impact my actions, and gives me some space to hear the Sprit at work in my life and that of others.
